About Me

A writer trapped in the body of a different writer.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

LifeStats: A Plea to God

I know it's a little morbid and unnecessary for a 25 year old guy such as myself to be thinking about Death...

but here's the thing, I have a fascination with Statistics...

I remember, as a young child, the desire to devour Red Sox box scores in the Boston Globe. I always liked a Sunday feature called "The Maniacal One" - this guy would determine crazy little nuggets, something like

"the Sox have won every weekday afternoon game started by a lefty pitcher (4-0) but are winless against right-handed starters on weekday afternoons (0-3)"

Things like that.

and there's certain maniacal things I want to know about my life, that I will never know.

I'd like to know how many hours I've spent sleeping. What percentage of my life that is. How many times have I actually watched the Blues Brothers Movie. or Jaws. or those two combined with Back to the Future. I bet it's a horrifying number of hours. So then compare that to Actual Hours Practicing Scales. That'd be an amusing ratio.

How many cans of coke. Or a complete breakdown of what percentage of each liquid I've consumed:

Water - 50%
Rum & Coke - 25%
Beer - 15%
Milk - 7%
Orange Juice - 3%

Ah, alas - those estimates are Way Off, I just know it, and it's frustrating.

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