An Open Letter to Bob Kaufman

Mr. Kaufman,

I'd like to address your "No Gimmicks" advertising campaign.

I should however disclaim that your business has been successful, for many, many decades. You are clearly a powerful businessman.

However, I feel literally insulted when your "No Gimmicks" commercials run.

The word gimmick has a few meanings, but I assume the one you are referring to is:

-An innovative stratagem or scheme employed especially to promote a project.

A jingle is a gimmick. A clay-mation version of yourself is a gimmick. Free cookies at your stores is a gimmick.

Therefore, a clay-mation Bob singing a jingle about free cookies would be, what I would call, a Triple-Inverted-Gimmick.

These jingles, cookies and clay-mated Bobs have all led to the growth of your business. That's cool.

Please don't look me in the eye and tell me it's not a Gimmick. Accept that one facet of your success can be attributed to the use of gimmicky adverts. It doesn't make you less successful.

-Joe

the answer

You won't find the answer in a list of Google results. You cannot just search and press Enter and have it.

You won't find the answer from a celebrity or a movie star...

The answer is not written in any book.

Your competition is searching for the answer right now, and what are you doing? The answer is not contained within this blog post.

The answer is not a white flag...

nor is it a charge across the open field with guns blazing in each fist.

You know what the answer is! and if you think you don't know what it is that's because you don't want to know.

The answer is the ruby slippers. You've been wearing them all along.

Four Flying Turkeys

Four turkeys flew across route 133 in Rowley this morning, right over the cars in front of me.

I did not know turkeys could fly. It was wild and gave me quick flashes of family feasts, school plays, backyard football, realizations of the Christmas to come...

the indoctrination of the First Thanksgiving Myth, discovering the calculated slaughter of the American Indian...

And I thought about them Indians hunting their own wild turkeys, and also the Puritans or "Pilgrims" hunting them as well, maybe right on this same spot, three of four hundred years ago...

And it reminded me of that old joke,

"I shot my own turkey one year, the people at the supermarket really freaked out..."

Defeat Isn't the Right Word

but the first that comes to mind.

What I'm afraid of is a day where decent candidates like Sean Bielat and Charlie Baker choose not to run for office in Massachusetts. Why bother? The Ted Kennedy's and Barney Frank's of the world will run unopposed every year and the election will be nothing more than a formality and a chance to race sail boats.

I'm disheartened that we reward people like Barney Frank, who bark arrogant acceptance speeches at us

and Justify the snotty writers at the Herald by MENTIONING them in prime time...

The voters rolled over at an opportunity to roll back the sales tax. The government will sniff out this sure sign of weakness and use it to press Upwards - seven, eight, nine percent? Why not?

They don't want us to Lower it - they must want to Raise it!

I'm preparing myself for Double Digits by the end of the Patrick Administration.

At least Deval Patrick is buddy-buddy with Barack Obama. Sure, he's failed to capitalize on that relationship, but only in terms of the state of Massachusetts. Thus far. Personally, I'm sure he's fine.

Personally, I felt useless and defeated when I saw the numbers last night.

By a thread, the citizens voted to repeal one of the two taxes on alcohol. Which is nice. If the government actually does it.

We're considering the purchase of a home and today I feel like browsing Southern New Hampshire.

Anti-Incumbency

Today is election day. On the table in Massachusetts are a battle for Governor, as well as an opportunity to lower the sales tax and repeal a tax on alcohol.

Our votes to do not necessarily become law - our thoughts are merely tallied, hastily organized and passed onto our State Government, who will ultimately give them a quick glance, toss it onto the flame, and continue to do whatever they want.

This year I voted against everyone who was up for re-election. Career-politicians should not exist and We create them. They dig in deep and line the pockets of friends and relatives.

Keeping a swift turnover would help prevent or at least minimize this abuse that seems to be a built-in part of politics. Hopefully.

This has nothing to do with parties. Both sides are the same.