Capo2: Got A Good Reason For Taking the Easy Way Out

"If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools"

Recap:

Capos weren't sitting well with me.
I decided to write about it
and ask The World
to help expand my mind.

The World chimed in with interesting points of view.
I conceded some outdated ideas
and rearranged my thoughts:

-Capos are cool if you understand how it works
-Capos are cool if you're injured
-I maintain that capos are NOT cool if you're being lazy
(because I have Faith that You can play barre chords)

I was feeling good about the experiment as a whole
until a second wave of militant capo users arrived
name calling and putting words in my mouth:

"are you against open tunings too?"

"Capos won't hold you back, speaking in absolutes and being close minded will"

"it's a hobby, not a pissing contest"

"why would you make a vocalist jump through hoops because of...your dad's hickish dismissal"

"what's lame is basically saying that they're not worthy to play music or express themselves through music"

"You don't have to be technically amazing to play, or enjoy playing, or to have your music appreciated by others"


I didn't feel Elitist or Close-Minded.  still don't.
just the opposite in fact
(although I admit the fact they perceived this is my fault and not theirs)

I simply want to empower lazy beginners to get over the hump
where most fledging guitarists quit
or slap on a capo
the plastic dam that forever closes the waters of musical knowledge

I hope they take the Time to read my finished posts
and truly understand the point of this exercise
but they're capo users,
so they probably won't, right?

Anti-Capo Manifesto

My father didn't have very many strict or steadfast Rules.

-Only A's and B's on report cards.
-No drugs in the house.
-Bassists should not use a pick.
-Guitarists should not use a capo.

I asked him to expound on the capo for the blog:

As a guitar student in the late 1960’s, I had to have one. Most of the folk rock artists that I liked were using them...I figured out quickly that the pretty boy folk rock guys only knew three or four chords and used the capo to fake their way thru any key. Instead of learning all the chords, they could get by with a few. I listened to their “different voicing” and “tonal qualities” points of view. It seemed like cheating to me. 

Now, when I see a guitarist using a capo
the first thought that comes to mind is,

"This cat can't hack it"

and I know that Life is not so extreme
direct from plastic to negative judgmental emotions
there must be something I'm missing

so I asked the Great White Noise
and the Pro-Capo crowd responded
some of which were clear, concise
and counterargument worthy

"For one of meager natural skill and even less talent, I can use all the help I can get"

Counterargument: Doc, when you're practicing with a capo on you're not practicing the guitar you're practicing the guitar-with-a-capo-on

"Capos are more for the benefit of vocalists than guitarists.  Bring out the best in your front person by any means necessary."

Counterargument: If you give a front person a fish they will eat for a day...

"as long as it's thought of as a style choice, just like drop tunings, it changes the sound of the instrument"

Counterargument: None!

In summation, capo users beware
I am judging you
and I may feel compelled to question you on:

1) how your capo achieves a tone/sound/style that cannot be achieved by a capoless instrument

2) if you can accurately convey what Key Signature a capoless instrument may accompany you

"Capos are for fascists and Jimmy Buffet"

"The Predictable Circle" or "Rest In Peace, Aunt Peg"

in my car, waiting for The Captain to be arraigned

when the radio threw out some interesting stats

regarding the opposing team's pitcher under a certain circumstance:

4 days rest, after throwing 115+ pitches the previous outing

the numbers were not good, so I texted them to my brother, an avid gambler.

next, mom called that my great aunt had passed away.

then, I remembered my brother and his wife were learning the gender of their baby this morning.

and a fist was shaken at Life
for being so predictable
(the whole "circle" thing)

i texted my brother that the smart money was on a baby girl.
now.
that the situation had changed.

later, The Captain did not get arraigned
but did get Another Date
for later.

later than that, my brother texted that I should have laid real money on both of my hunches.

Zero Tolerance for Zero Tolerance Policies

Here are the alleged facts of the story of 17 year old Erin Cox:

-Drunk friend calls Erin for a ride home from a party

-Erin (sober) drives to party to find police already there

-She is not arrested but told she will be "summoned to court"

-School officials cite Erin to be in violation of the Zero Tolerance policy regarding alcohol

-Erin is suspended from the volleyball team


I wonder why the police would officially summon her

I wonder how the story ended up in the national news

I applaud the young lady for getting her story out there

I applaud the school for sticking by their policy (whether I agree with it our not) and not giving in to the social pressure of the story being out there


Zero Tolerance Policies are ridiculous because no two situations are exactly the same

and you, beautiful Reader, will want to remember when dealing with these two specific entities:

North Andover Police: NO DESIGNATED DRIVERS ALLOWED
North Andover High School: NO DESIGNATED DRIVERS ALLOWED

Banana Bread: revised

Mom's Banana Bread Recipe

(revised by Chef Joe
for reasons that are not political nor related to ethics)

2 and 1/2 cups wheat flour
1 cup brown sugar
3 and 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
3 teaspoons vegetable oil
1/3 cup almond milk
1 egg
2 bananas

mix together

bake at 350 for 65-70 min

How to Grow A Beard

Step 1: Don't Shave

I understand the process will eventually command more nuance than this...

(and I hope to share this with you, dearest Reader)

in the past I have failed:  The Fear sinks in and the need to hide my face sinks in and a quick run home yields a fresh razor.  To erase the neglect...

but NOT THIS TIME!  I'm latching onto the "Red Sox playoff beard" fad, as to elude as much social judgement for as long as possible...

once the baseball runs it's course hopefully this baby beard will have sprouted little wings on my cheeks and blossomed into a lush bush of masculinity.

hopefully.

"Annual Physical Exam" or "Rest In Peace, Dr. Smith"

my faith in Medicine is at an all time low

but driving past Dr. Smith's office I noticed a large FOR SALE sign

and imagined the Doc 'moving on up'
perhaps to a bigger pad
(this one was cluttered to a point that scared my old lady)

Patty the receptionist answered the phone and I asked how the end of the week looked. mornings were preferable.

Patty's voice trembled, "I'm sorry but Dr. Smith passed away this June"

June.  months ago.

I remembered his concern over a spot of cancer on his forehead but when I mentioned this Patty quickly dismissed the notion, offering no details in return.  I remembered the details didn't matter anyways.

"Mistah Kurtz-he dead."

I thanked Patty for her years of dedicated work, she mentioned something about forms.  I answered enthusiastically knowing damn well I would not follow through.  I hung up.

then the darkest part of my brain spit out this gem:

"Well, he musn't have been a very good doctor after all"

which is still funny
but isn't true at all.

he was a good doctor, the only one who has ever made me feel comfortable.  I'm not in a rush to find another.