Balance

The Morning News is depressing.

War, Fire, Murder, Rape, Corruption and then Rain... all delivered from the white toothy smiles of beautiful people.

It's a horrible way to start the day. Ultimately the mind races, questioning Humanity and wondering:

How can there be so much ugly & Bad shit in the world?

So you force yourself to consider the Good: the teachers, doctors, nurses, plumbers, comedians, and Volunteers everywhere...

I did not conclude that there is more Good than Bad.

I concluded everything equals zero.

Balance.

Spoiler Alert

It's very cool that out of the billions of humans to exist, throughout the world, over thousands of years, not a single one has figured out why we are here.

which is the main character's struggle in this particular tale you are reading in segments: to determine the meaning of Life.

As the Narrator & Editor, I feel it necessary to inform you that this tale will end tragically. And without completion: The Main Character will never discover the Meaning of Life.

Not to imply that the battle does not rage on, because it does.

I believe the following elements are Important. Because they create strong, unforgettable emotions within me. Because they keep recurring. Or just, Because.

1) The Quest to discover the Self.

We must discover ourselves. Without accomplishing this first, every other move is just a shuffle in place.

2) Assisting Others

We are all in this together. We cannot do it alone. There would be no Bono without the Edge.

3) Perception vs. Reality

What's "real" to you might not exist to someone else. Everything is real. Everything is fake.

4) Connectedness

Age doesn't matter. Color doesn't matter. Gender doesn't matter. That said,

5) Environment

Environment matters.

That's enough hippy philosophy. We part ways with a few quick recommendations to Feeling Good:

-Treat Others As You Wish To Be Treated
-Remember Everyone is Fighting Their Own Battles
-Eat Fresh Fruit
-Listen To Loud Music

The Bridge

When my world gets too small
When I can't see over the top of the wall

I run and I run
to the edge of the water
I run and I run
to the edge of the bridge

I look across and see my brother
I look across and see my darling standing there

I run and I run
over the water
I run and I run
over the bridge

Will you take my hand
when I've crossed over
Will you take my hand
and show me around
If I drown under the weight of the water
If I drown under the weight
of this old ghost town

Carry me back
back to the water
Carry my body
Back to the bridge

R.I.P. - The Wagon

Dear Wagon,

I killed you. You deserved better.

From January 2006 until January 2012 you were my trusty steed.

130,000 miles in 5 years is a workhorse rate, and you held the line strong.

In essence, I've had my foot on your throat the whole time with no remorse, yet after delivering this fatal blow I can't shake the guilt.

9 degrees is too cold for the amount of oil that was in your engine. You choked to death.

Neglect. It's so pathetic. Between the wedding in October, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve and the countless lessons and gigs on top... NO WAGON, I HAD NOT THOUGHT ABOUT YOU SINCE SEPTEMBER.

I carry around with me a Shitlist, all my shortcomings, faults, unfulfilled commitments and unkept promises, neatly organized into groups, on a piece of paper, in my back pocket. You haven't been on the list in months, Wagon. Hindsight screams that you should have been.

I killed you and you are dead now and you deserved better.

Oil is more important than Gas.

Your ghost lives on in this mantra, permanently etched into my brain, in the cold cursive from a Quill of Guilt.

2012

I said in January of last year that I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions,

and I still don't.

The internet defines arbitrary as

Based on random choice or personal whim, rather than any reason or system.

so there goes my theory of New Year's Day as an arbitrary value. It's part of a system, it is therefore not arbitrary.

But, I don't feel that different from two days ago.

Two days ago was Last year.

That feels arbitrary.

A small amount of progress every day. Try and accomplish something Good every day. Eight hours work, eight hours play and eight hours of sleep every day. Eat or do something healthy every day. Be happy every day.

Every Day.

2011 was good. It's good to look back and reflect and enjoy our progress a little bit. Analyze our mistakes so they don't happen again.

In the end, it feels more Zen to take it a day at a time, one moment at a time and to not put too much stock in holidays, not get wrapped up in One Big Moment because it's going to come and go real quick, like everything else...