A Portrait of Bernard Francis Law

A portrait of Cardinal Law hung above the entrance of the chapel at Bishop Fenwick High School. By the year 2003, Cardinal Law's presence at the core of a sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic church had been well documented. Cardinal Law covered up the actions of child molesters, knowingly moving them to different parishes. I believed that to be worse than the pedophiles themselves. Cardinal Law's portrait hung above the entrance of the most sacred place in our school. 

I started a petition to have the portrait removed.  The members of the senior class that I spoke with were essentially unanimous in proclaiming, "Fuck off, Joe.  I've worked my ass off for three and a half years.  I've got applications out to ten colleges.  The ABSOLUTE LAST PLACE I want my name right now is on your bullshit anti-establishment petition." 

One of my only regrets in life thus far is not stealing that portrait.  The chapel was in a far off wing of the school and I found myself with ample opportunities.  I am not sure why I did not steal it.  I wish I had.   

Statements

The curly bedsheet

never folds up right.

---

I like to be clean.

I can scrub a plate.

---

I eat with my eyes.

You know I like you

sunny sides up and

don't turn em over.

---

No salt or pepper

on Mother's table.

---

I like the taste of

poison over rocks.

---

Being deaf someday

is part of the job.

----

No one cares about 

my darkest secrets.

Servings Per Container

     I like to keep a definition of the word 'addiction' handy.  The one I prefer to use is "displaying symptoms of tolerance or withdrawal".  By this definition, I currently find myself addicted to Ben & Jerry's brand of ice cream, specifically their Chubby Hubby variety.  I can be downright moody without an ice cream treat after dinner.

     The Nutritional Facts on this product state that there are four servings in one container of Chubby Hubby.  To that, I proclaim "Bullshit!"  I try not to be cynical, but find it hard to believe that a man with such temperance, patience, and restraint could possibly exist.  When I meet the man who can return to the same pint FOUR times, I will kiss his feet and demand to know his secrets. 

     The closest I have come is a three serving technique employed by my brother.  To make this work you must skimp on the second serving.  The first serving always arrives with lust and passion, it is impossible to deny those urges.  If you attack the second serving with the fervor of the first, you will inadvertently decimate the third.  If you can go easy on the second serving, the third will be glorious.  Of course there is no stopping once you perceive the bottom to be close by.  The third serving will inevitably be the last.  But, if you can go easy on the second serving, the third will be glorious.  

     So we tack Ice Cream to the ever evolving list of Vices & Addictions.  If we're lucky we have a game plan to keep things balanced.  We allow our minds to be open to change.  At least the potential to change. 

When Good People Make Bad Art

What do you do when good people make bad art?

An important facet of this question is whether your opinion is requested or not.  If the Artist is asking for your opinion there is a responsibility to be honest.  If you find yourself offering your opinion there is a responsibility to be kind.

The artist owns some responsibility as well.  Another important facet is the forum.  An artist should expect that a published or public work to be critiqued by everyone who participates.  

Your critical analysis and observations hold weight.  An artist who asks your opinion of a private work is in a fragile place.  Be nice.  Is bad art better than no art at all? 

Is a negative review better than no dialogue at all?  

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COPE WITH BAD ART?

Honest, constructive criticism?  

Passive silence?  

Positivity and other outright lies?

How do people cope with my bad art?  

I hope they lie to me.

Monkey Boy

Monkey Boy stood up
on the rubber seat
grabbed two fistfuls of chain
and pulled himself up
on to his throne.
The swingset frame.
A solid metal beam
with chipped red paint.
He slowly dragged
a pointed finger
from left to right
proclaiming,
"I'm taller than everyone here"
and then he climbed down.

Cats, Rats, and Traps

I got the news that Addison had died a horrible death.  Addison was my guitar students neighbors cat, my absolute favorite amongst many guitar students neighbors cats.  A different neighbor had left out rat poison.  I was sad when I got the news that Addison had died a horrible death.

-----

The Highlight of Summer 2014 is our vegetable garden.  The process of growing vegetables is amazingly fun.  When animals began eating bits we decided it was for certain the cute bunnies who were here first and that there was enough vegetables to share.  When my old lady saw a small scurrying something we decided we did not feel the same way about rats as we do about rabbits.

------

I had a six dollar plastic trap all baited and set and ready to go when she mentioned the idea of Rocky, the neighbors cat, Bubba, the landlords dog, a baby bunny or neighborhood child stepping on it.  Up on the shelf it went. 

------

The next morning I was watering and saw a beautiful baby cucumber but when I turned it over in my hand it had horrifying bite marks on it.  Rat teeth.  I am not a bite mark expert but I am short tempered so I went back to the shelf and retrieved my trap.  I placed it right next to the hole and set it when I realized it had no bait.  Internal laziness prevailed. My placement of the trap was so perfect that the lack of bait would not be a factor.

-----

The lack of bait was a major factor.  I did not catch anything for two days as the vegetable carnage continued.  I tried to gently pop a fresh piece of banana into the bait section, which set off the trap, rendering it useless.  I brought it inside and threw it away.

-----

This is the not the end of the story.

Campaign Ceiling

Obama 440M

Romney 283M 

723M spent on the two major Presidential Campaigns in 2012.   

Imagine if we capped campaign spending at 50M per party.  I arrived at this figure allotting one million dollars for each of the fifty states, leaving our country a theoretical surplus of 625M.  Real money.  

Really theoretical money.

The real money was squandered on a process that divides our nation into two groups trying out-squabble each other.

Is it too much to ask that we act as a super-breed of compassionate humans who transcend party politics, race & gender while treating others as we wish to be treated?

Huddled Masses, Yearning to Breathe Free

Just saw a meme that showed little kids in one frame and gang-bangers in another. Under the children it said "what the left wants you to think is coming across the border," while under the other frame it says "what's coming across with them." And now I can't un-see that freaking dumb ass image, and again I've lost even more faith in humanity. The internet sure can be terrible sometimes. Have a heart, y'all. Peace.

My friend Chris posted that this morning.  

The immigration crisis saddens me, then again, I may have expected the Rich, Racist, People-in-Charge to be afraid of homeless children.  

What surprises me is to have noticed the Fear coming from all directions: young and old, men and women, the overheard conversations of strangers and interactions with my own family and friends.  A former guitar student publicly states, 

Obama does not know how to run a country. I'm all for saving the children but this is not the way to do this. My reason stays the same. If you add more poverty to poverty, it's going to continue to poverty. The economy in America cannot support the ILLEGAL children coming through and they will end up where they were to start with and will also make the children already here suffer because OBAMA does not know how to resolve an issue in a better way. Do you want your children struggling to get into college? Finding a job? I would guess no. These children are going to take futuristic jobs away from our children who are already here. Why hurt your child's future? Send these illegal children back and help them other ways!

I understand that a large of faction of Americans are not concerned with my friend Chris' faith in humanity, nor my personal sadness, nor the tears in the eyes of a sad, hungry Hispanic child.  Some people only care about Money.

However, I see this crisis as POTENTIAL FOR JOB CREATION.  Construction workers for housing our new Americans.  Teachers to educate them.  Medical personnel.  A brand new branch of the IRS to install a process of paying fair taxes.  Public and private sector security personell. 

This could be better than Roosevelt's New Deal.  Are you out of work?  Buried in Debt?  Need a fresh start?  Come to Detroit!  The Government, Good Ole Uncle Sam, will PAY YOU to teach English, to build houses, to work in a hospital, school, or factory.  

The first location that came to mind was Detroit.  I'm quite certain it has been abandoned for years. After this quick jive, including job creation in five different fields, I'm wondering how to make this work in my home state of Massachusetts.

If you do not dig my Hispanic-American colony idea, that's fine, we're just brainstorming.  It's better than being hateful. 

The Lemonade Stand

"I'm not getting out of the car.  Children are disgusting.  Look at their hands."

I was driving, noticed the group of children and their lemonade stand, so I had pulled over, when my wife made that remark.

"Fine" I replied, and shut the door.

"Which one of you is in charge here?" I asked the group.

------------------------------------------------

I don't have kids, but I imagine the value in the lemonade stand is two-fold:

1) The children are compelled by their young Greed to sit outside for hours.  You are free from their presence for nearly an entire afternoon and don't even have to pay a babysitter.

2) You get to teach the children how their own Greed will inevitably destroy them.

------------------------------------------------

Let's imagine our theoretical child excitedly rushes inside to display $9 dollars after an honest afternoon in the front yard with the lemonade stand.  The lips begin to quiver as you quickly take the first $3, for the government.  "Don't even ask about taxation", you tell them, "you're too young to understand, and always will be."

The next $6 dollars are split in half. Let's make the theoretical partner a sibling instead of a neighbor, to increase the tension.

Before our theoretical child can even begin to wonder how $9 has become $3, our theoretical parent starts hurling more costs.  The cost of renting the space for the stand.  The cost of the lemonade, water filter, and plastic cups.  You take your child's last $3 dollars, but it is not enough.

Attempted Moongazing

There was a cloudy halfmoon illuminating our path from Hampton Beach back to Maine, and I remembered there has forever been a telescope leaning in the corner of the bedroom at her parent's house.  I decided tonight was the night to use the telescope.

First, we ate leftover ribs and drank beers by the campfire.  I dragged the telescope down to the lawn but the Moon was not in sight.  I tried to locate a star in the lense but quickly determined the task too difficult, finding a mental remedy to my failure by convincing myself I wanted the Moon alone.

I tried to rally a team to join me on my mission to the moon, but we had missed a long day of partying and potential recruits were tired.  My wife's brother Danny agreed to join me because he is the nicest guy in the world and always willing to join a potential adventure.  By the time we left the house my wife, her sister, and Dan's wife had come along.

Josc theorized that we should go to the end of the road, to the other road, and at that first clearing not too far, where people fish, there would be the Moon.  It was not a long walk.  When we reached the clearing and the Moon was still not in sight we eventually realized that the Moon rises and sets just like the Sun and that we had missed our opportunity for moongazing.

On the walk back I was thinking that Time may be a manmade construct but it sure does make something like moongazing more convenient and if we had quickly researched the day's Moon times with a smartphone it would have saved us all this trouble, and how boring that would have been.

Stages of Hair Grief 2: Inevitabilities

Today June is threatening to become July
and some day in The Future my hair will not grow dark brown
and some day after that it will not grow at all
and today I think about Never cutting it again, ever,
like an animal.
Deep down I know this idea is a little dramatic.

The Ethics of Flashing

Are you a flasher?

I flashed a stranger, just yesterday!

Whenever I see a police cruiser hiding cheekily in the bushes, I will alert oncoming motorists for miles thereafter.

A quick flash of the highbeams and my truck is now a Beacon of Hope, that another civilian will not have to endure the sting of a speeding ticket, or the accompanying charade.

As I flashed yesterday, some sniffling fearful loser inside of my own mind whined,

"...but speeding is bad!  You could be helping a CRIMINAL right now.  You might have prevented the cop from preventing that criminal from hurting someone.  Probably a baby."

----------

The reason I flash people is THE GAME.  It's not about Public Safety.  Don't ever let them convince you it is.

Imagine if the police had a consistent presence at the places where driving slowly is most important.  There are places like that.  You don't speed there, nor do I.

Yet we still have THE GAME where the cops hide their cars in hiding spots and turn off their lights and probably rub their hands together and chuckle to themselves about how awesome their spot is and how they are totally going to catch someone speeding.

The cops WANT to catch you speeding.  Statistics show it is their most effective way to attain an erection.

That is why I flash and always will.

Memorial Day

As a veteran of the Vietnam War, I'm tired of hearing politicians patronizing me and my comrades for our "sacrifice". Peace will not come until young men and women are not encouraged, rewarded and honored by politicians and parents to kill people. - Shep Abbott

Memorial Day is about remembering those folks who have made the ultimate sacrifice,

as long as they played for OUR TEAM.

Remembering American solidiers is ok.

Remembering Nazis: not ok.

I wonder what year is the cutoff for remembering German solidiers.  I believe they have been noble since the 80's or so (?)

I love my country and appreciate the fact I have not been forced to kill anyone.  That makes me very happy.  Every day.

Top 6 Unrelated Celebrity Non Siblings: Part 2

6) Matt Damon & Johnny Damon

5) Jon Hamm & Mia Hamm

4) George Bush & Kate Bush

3) Joe Jackson & Michael Jackson

2) Michael J. Fox & Vivica A. Fox

1) Tom Cruise & Penelope Cruz

I Believe in the Radio

I believe in the radio.
(the cd player is broken)

This morning I flipped around and the Shins came on.
I blasted the knob as loud as she could go
and sang along as loud as I could go.

It was not even eight o' clock yet.
Later, we theorized that
this same effect would not have occurred
if I had pre-selected the very same song on a cd.

Top 6 Unrelated Celebrity Non Siblings

6) Martin Freeman and Morgan Freeman.

5) Will Ferrell and Colin Farrell.

4) Ryan Stiles and Julia Stiles.

3) Bradley Cooper and Alice Cooper.

2) Dean McDermott and Dylan McDermott.

1) Mariah Carey and Jim Carey.

Advertising, Baseball, Insurance and the Elderly

Cross Insurance is the official insurance broker of the 2014 Boston Red Sox,

their advertisements on the radio broadcast of games are unavoidable.

At one point the narrator says,

"...and my ninety seven year old father drives himself to the office every morning, and works a full day."

which hits me, on a couple of levels.

Personally, Alzheimer's disease has a history of ravaging the brains of my family, so I find the idea of a competent ninety seven year old man downright inspiring.

Despite the heartwarming connection, from a business perspective... I have qualms.

This ad makes me think about a 97 year old man driving.  Is the narrator ok with this?  It's his dad, after all.  That is a tough place for a family to be.  I do not imagine I could ever ask my father to give up his license. A sad, horrible theoretical situation I could have lived without, and I ultimately blame Cross Insurance for having to ponder it at all.

I understand the argument that perhaps all this uneasy shit is supposed to fear monger me into buying insurance.  Maybe the 97 year old man is not real, nothing more than a gimmick.

And if he is Real, although I've admitted he's probably a wonderful and inspirational man, I frankly do not want him working on my claim.  This idea does not instill confidence in your business.

Deodor:can't2: Solution

My cousin Lauren read Deodor:can't part 1
and kindly offered a small tub of homemade deodorant,
complete with a recipe so I can make future batches on my own.

(Lauren attributes the recipe to the website CrunchyBetty.com)

I have been using the stuff for over a month,
and I love it.
A little dab will do ya,
and in terms of full disclosure,
it is yet to be determined,
how it stacks up against the summer heat.

Betty & Lauren's Homemade Deodorant*
*to be replaced with catchy name later

5 tbsp coconut oil

3 tbsp almond oil (can infuse with chamomile or calendula if you want I don't because I'm lazy)

1/4 cup + 2 tbsp baking soda

1/4 cup + 2 tbsp arrowroot powder (baking aisle -bob's red mill. Or health food store)

Essential oil- 20 or so drops (lavender, rosemary, tea tree oil all have antibacterial properties. I use what I have on hand and like.)  

More disclosure,

I'm assuming we just mix those things up.

Our little container has lasted us Months,

but I will keep you posted,

when I try to make the stuff.

A Nice Walk With the Dog in the Springtime

A snow storm threatens tomorrow

that is part of the reason I knew better but
took the old dog for a walk anyways

another reason is the look she gave me

a daring glance paired with an energized shake

the kind that had been missing this winter

this winter had been slow and sleepy

bones creaking through the snow banks

I convinced myself a little fresh air would be good for us both

We were a quarter mile down the road

in front of the cable company 

repairing cables

and a cop directing traffic

when the dog started to shit

which is to be expected from a dog

but this particular shit 

was not pick-up-able

at the very least it was 

borderline

arguable 

but not in my case

because I have a cop watching this all go down

with a daring glance

almost hoping I will walk away

but I do not 

I brought a bag 

and under his watchful eye 

I do my best to clean up the shit

on the walk home I explain to the dog 

that I will never take her for a walk 

ever. again. 

this is the fourth time we have had this conversation 

Selfie!

while you were taking a picture of yourself
a pig flew above you
in front of a beautiful sunrise and sunset
with colors beyond description

as you pursed your lips into a duck mask
your true beauty was bound, gagged
and kidnapped into a white van
with one thousand others
that look just like you

when you posted your selfie
the art of the self-portrait died a little
(a lot)
the ghosts of one thousand dead painters & sculptors
tsk-tsking in shame from Eternity

The Meaning of Life (Draft 3)

to me The Meaning of Life is not
a single thing
to me, so far, it is a List
of Things That Seem Important:

-Self-Discovery / Acceptance
-Charity
-Awareness of Mortality
-Perception vs. Reality
-Karma / Connectedness 
-Fluidity / Change
-Environment / Earth / Universe
-Family
-The Creator / Why Are We Here ?
-Thumbs
-What Happens When We Die ?

28 Laps

I hope I've learned during these twenty eight laps around the Sun.

It started with my parents and still does.  I've never doubted their Love for a single second of my Life, and I realize this is an important facet of my existence.

My brother has challenged me constantly.  I'm lucky for that.

I never thought my old lady existed:  a kindred spirit to co-pilot the ethos.  A feeling so wonderful that I occasionally question if I deserve it.

I don't deserve any of this.  I've had twenty eight years free from any legitimate suffering.  I understand it's not sustainable and I try to use this temporary peace to prepare myself to travel the rest of the journey with dignity and patience.

I hope that God reads this post and she smiles and offers me another twenty eight laps.

things I think I know about Love

The opposite of Love is not Hate it is Apathy

Love should hire a lawyer
and sue Hollywood for defamation of character
Love is less powerful than Time but not by much
Love is puke and shit and bloody pieces of gauze
Love does not consider well laid plans
Love may not recognize you back someday
John Lennon said
Love is all you need
but he doesn't know me
sometimes I think I need more
but I do not
Jerry Seinfeld said
"You don't do what's right
You do what makes the other person feel good...
and the first step to that is lying"
Love is a web of lies
Love yourself first

Love tries to stay awake until you get home
You create your own definition of Love
which is nice until you realize so does everyone else
Unconditional Love is beautiful when you witness it happening
Love is for Everyone
Love is fleeting and cheers
to everyone lucky enough to enjoy some time with it
Love is not nearly as fun in hindsight
I hate to admit that chocolate and flowers are both quite lovely
and midwinter seems as nice a time as any to love Love
commerce be damned
this morning it seemed important to document 

things I think I know about Love

Classic Rock Radio Programming

On a long drive home after a raucous gig
I called The NightRocker to make a request
The man on the other end seemed genuinely disappointed
which helped, a little
"Aw man, we don't have any Big Star in the library"
I should have said something snarky, like
"You should check it out, I'll mail you some"
instead I froze and stammered out a request for Toys In the Attic
------
my go to station has recently changed their playist by adding
Soundgarden 101, Basic Pearl Jam, and Too Much Guns & Roses
this time My Michelle, the laziest of their originals
better than their lazy covers
if only an iPod were in the budget
if only my CD player weren't broken
during the self-loathing the harmonies of Sweet Emotion had begun
and I got even more frustrated
had I not requested the specific song, not the hit from that album?
-------
my Dad had taught me to play Name That Tune on this station
naming the band got you bonus points, the album even more so
-------
Back in the Saddle.
by the time Dude Looks Like A Lady comes on
I leave it on, as penance for even trying
-------
if I drive in silence I hear phantom pains from my car
and freak out!
--------
I believe in a kamikaze spin around the radio dial
there have times that aural gold has been struck in this fashion
I will spare you the deepest thoughts that followed
about planets and molecules
and fast forward to when Toys In The Attic came on
when everything clicked and buzzed in tandem
and the music drove me home

Rainbow Color Coating

I park in the auxiliary gravel lot and along the path into the school there has been a pile

some sort of rainbow colored candy

one day we noticed that months have passed

yet the candy remains untouched

the World and Nature herself rejecting free food

he told me that growing up his mother would throw every piece of stale food outside for the birds and animals

and that this same phenomenon occurred with Fruit Loops

---------------

I've noticed that some of the most powerful forces at work on this journey of Life have been Love, Hunger, Time (in that order)

Can I Use Your W.C. Please?

a fringe benefit of the new pad
within walking distance on nice days
The Gloucester Writers Center. In their words,

The Gloucester Writers Center is a place for working writers in a working town. We are devoted to the exploration, development and celebration of our diverse voices through dialogue and the artistic process.

Snow cancelled our weekly meeting today
I decided to post my favorites
from the last three months, what an idea!
it inevitably depressed my soul
being happy with two sad limericks
from the last three months of material

------------
There once was a boy named Joe
He did not know where to go
He followed the sound
But when it was found
He found that he still did not know
------------
There once was a violin
I can't find where to begin
Plucked on the strings
But all that it brings
Is a feeling that I'll never win

Deodor:can't

I do not remember how old I was
when I started to smell bad
probably twelve or thirteen
since then I've rocked the OLD SPICE
classic style, original scent

and for over a decade I never considered the ingredients
or my lymph nodes

(according to wikipedia)

Lymph node is an oval-shaped organ of the lymphatic system, distributed widely throughout the body including the armpit and stomach... as filters or traps for foreign particles and are important in the proper functioning of the immune system...

the ingredients on my current stick include:

Alcohol Denat.
Propylene Glycol
Water
Sodium Stearate
Fragrance
Triclosan
Tetrasodium Edta
Yellow 10
Green 5

I don't know what most of those chemicals are
(what does Denat. stand for?)
why would I rub and smear them into my lymph nodes
every day

The Man Who Invented Food Pills

I got a call from the city.  Dan the Mailman had landed me an early birthday present, an interview, and was rambling furiously. 

"The Doctor, he's got to be in his seventies, maybe eighties, and he's been delivering the mail for years, the past eight years I've worked there at least" he sputtered, virtually out of breath in his enthusiasm.  I told him I was skeptical. 

"That's nothing.  I haven't even gotten to the good part.  The Doctor is perfectly healthy and yet he hasn't eaten food in years.  The Doctor is the man who invented Food Pills." 

--------

It was a long drive from the coast to the city and I had questions.  Flaws in the story.  I am cynical on most days.  When I arrived Dan was ready to answer the first question on my mind, before I even asked it.

"You're wondering how come The News isn't all over this.  The Doctor will probably tell us his story today because he doesn't know you're going to write about it.  Don't mention your blog.  Don't mention anything.  Try not to talk at all."

I told Dan that I get it and thanked him again for setting up the meet.   

"I told the Doctor you are giving up a failed career at music and applying for a steady job at the post office."

"Why?"

"Because details are important in a good lie"  

---------

"Stomach problems.  I couldn't eat hardly anything anyways"

The Doctor's explanation as to Why he didn't want to eat food anymore actually made more sense than I expected it to.  My questions had all nearly been answered so I tried to bait him.  "I love to cook.  It's cathartic.  You don't like to cook, Doctor?"

"My wife & I used to cook the most delicious meals together, nearly every night.  After she died, it just wasn't...." his voice trailed off.  I felt like an ass for asking for him that.

"Then I found Science" the Doctor said smiling.  His eyes lifted and brightened.  "We all know what you need: protein, vitamin C, calcium... I don't want to bore you with lists.  My compounds are laid out in detail in my journals.  The brass tax of it all is that I don't eat anything but my food pills anymore, since about the time your friend Dan started on.  He didn't believe me then, and I don't think he does now." 

Dan smiled.  "I'm gaining interest.  Tell him the best part." 

"The best part is that my stomach problems are gone..." the Doctor began to answer, but Dan interrupted him, "Don't hold back now Doc" 

"Shit.  I haven't the need to defecate anymore.  In years.  My pills are perfectly designed that my body absorbs the exact amounts of each element.  For years the formulas have been adjusted, to maintain this wonderful and unexpected side effect."

I was puzzled.  "You haven't eaten any food, or taken a shit, in years?" 

"That's right."  His answer was calm and seemed genuine.  "Your next question about mass marketing Food Pills is unnecessary because I have no interest in the work it would take to custom tailor the pills for each individual client.  In fact, I've grown bored of the subject altogether, but I am willing to assume my vintage Martin guitar will pique your interest?" 

The Doctor again, was correct.

--------------

On the ride home Dan broke a long silence, "I won't be as extreme about it as the Doctor is.  We can still go out for dinner on weekends with the girls, or whatever.  On occasion."

Sammy's Law

Sammy is a funky drummer and wonderful human who got himself into some trouble and then out of it and then past it, thankfully never losing any funkiness along the way.  Sam recently offered me this nugget of advice,

"Do not break more than one law at a time" 

Cell Phone Poems

Dec 14, 2013

Thought about quitting those mean cigarettes
As my ashes fell whiter than the snow
Piling up faster than my regrets
Nowhere to go but up, nowhere to go

Wondered which was purer the ash or snow
That got me on the great Robert Frost
His dark cold words always make me glow
Though I don't doubt the true meaning is lost

---------------------------------

Dec 28, 2013

Pregnant bartender loves this disco band
Dancefloor grandma swaying, can't hardly stand
Found myself drinking beers with the band wives
Tonight is the highlight of their bland lives