Food and Family

Bottle for baby nephew.
He prefers that you stand during the process.
Is this the first bottle I've ever fed a baby?
It fucking feels like it.

I'll never know for certain if I have
some sort of weird Mom/food complex
because my old lady cooks so well.
I bet I would if she didn't.

In the fridge is our big glass jar of Mom's chili
next to her niece's can of Hormel inside a plastic bag.
I offered the chili
without telling her niece to throw away the Hormel
and never buy it again.
Which is a big step for me.

Little League and Mother's Day

Do you remember when my mom coached my brother's little league team? It was awesome.

I remember the other coaches gave her hell about being a lady coach, even though our story takes place in 1996.

I asked Mom if she could remember any memorable insults hurled her way during the course of volunteering to coach baseball for ten year olds in a small town.  Her response:

• " I'm not going against a woman" ( first game of the season as a head coach)

• " you are the most unreasonable coach I've ever met" ( wanted to call a game due to darkness)

• " Are you trying to ruin the game" ( suggested separating the league into farm / minors / majors and making farm and minors non competitive)

• " think about what you are doing to the game" ( suggested using safe balls for 5-7 year olds)

• "Why are you buying the team ice cream, you lost? That's the problem with you"

These are the ones that stuck with me.
Two reasons it was all worth it:
Years later I was approached by a young woman who was on one of our teams. She said that she had the best time playing for me because none of the men coaches ever let her out of right field. She felt I was fair.
A young man said that his folks were getting divorced the year he played for me and that it helped him to get through a difficult time.
That's all I got.
------

Thanks Mom that's more than enough. 

CDC: Trump Sickness Update

My father backed off his Trump support. I emailed the CDC to let them know that while Trump Sickness is airborne and highly contagious it apparently can subside on it's own over time.  Dad hasn't formally apologized to the family for voting republican in the primary and we will probably let him slide because his fatherly record otherwise is essentially immaculate over the past three decades.

Donald Trump Swallows Ted Cruz Whole

Ted Cruz died tonight. Politically speaking. I enjoyed watching him die. He spoke of Republican things like Russia and China and Fireworks on the Fourth of July and his mother praying and God.

God only backs Winners and Ted knows it. The crowd cried out, "NO!" when he announced he was suspending his campaign but his smug smile remained perfectly crooked.