The Importance of the Holster: Reflections on the Plaxico Burress Story

I love the Plaxico Burress story, it's America, to the teeth.

I'm not here to regurgitate. I'm here to analyze, reflect, and hopefully learn something.

If you need to familiarize yourself with the details of the story, do so now.

I think this story breaks up into three interesting chunks.

1: THE PROCESS

Against state law, the New York Presbyterian Hospital did not call the NYPD to report Burress' injury,

the NYPD saw it reported on television

which insulted and angered Them,

but more imporantly...

angered The Mayor

2: THE MAYOR

The Mayor said,

"The police only found out about this because of a story on television. The hospital didn't call and the Giants didn't call... The Giants should have picked up the phone right away as good corporate citizens. I don't care if there's a legal responsibility for them to do it... They are a team that is here in this region - I know they're in New Jersey but it's the New York Giants - and they have a responsibility as a team that depends on the public and wants to be a role model for the public... So the police certainly didn't have any knowledge in advance and once they found out about it they right away went after it."

In other words,

The Hospital doesn't have the right to pardon this ignorant man. Only I do. I'm the God Damn Mayor.

3: THE SIGNING BONUS

Plaxico had signed a five year, thirty five million dollar contract prior to the 2008 season, which included a one million dollar "signing bonus", which had been scheduled to be paid out on, what turned out to be, less than two weeks after the shooting.

The team withheld the payment, the Union filed a grievance. and Won.

Which led to this gem of a quote from Giants co-owner John Mara,

"To think that a player could carry a loaded gun into a nightclub, shoot himself and miss the rest of the season but get to keep his entire signing bonus illustrates one of the serious flaws in the current system"

Mr. Mara obviously doesn't understand the definition of a signing bonus.

*****

I don't think any man should spend 20 months in prison for accidently shooting himself.

However, the REAL question is,

Does "any man" deserve to spend time in prison for discharging an unregistered weapon within the confines of a crowded city nightclub?

Yep.

Quick & Uninspired internet research allows me to determine that Plaxico could have purchased a fancy leather holster for his Glock quite easily...

and for less than one hundred dollars.